Had a long conversation yesterday (around some bonfire, cheese and acroyoga) on a topic that I wanna share with you.
Here is the thought: we tend to forget how healthy it is to remove oneself from relationship dynamics!
My friend Arianne shared the story of how she built a coliving community in Rio de Janeiro. It’s been going on for several years, and here is why it works from her point of view:
“For us, we think it is crucial to leave the community in order to bring back external experiences into it.”
I’ve found this true for any type of relationships, not only group dynamics. For example, when couples start to form, the first instinct is to spend all the time possible with that person.
What happens? After a while, there is nothing else to say, the communication focusses on the day to day life, and the “deep, intense” moments are lost.
We tend to forget that we are who we are based on our experiences. And that it is diversity that complements itself.
The same goes for work relationships, friendships, or family. Take time off, gain experiences, and bring these back into the relationship.
What happens? After a while, there is nothing else to say, the communication focusses on the day to day life, and the “deep, intense” moments are lost.
We tend to forget that we are who we are based on our experiences. And that it is diversity that complements itself.
The same goes for work relationships, friendships, or family. Take time off, gain experiences, and bring these back into the relationship.
So here is my thought regarding coliving communities: we currently don’t put emphasis on the fact that leaving a community temporarily can turn the community stronger long-term.
I’d even for further to say that there is a stigma around people who claim this freedom, who proactively spend time outside relationships. And that the stigma comes from people taking this act of withdrawal against themselves, instead of for the person in question.
Thoughts? How are you experiencing temporary withdrawal from relationships? Have you witnesses this problem in groups?
And here is a post shared to me by my coliving partner in crime Matt Lesniak (from consciouscoliving.com):
The topic: how communities are essential for the functioning and growth of companies.
A long-format blog-post which blew me away. It reminds me of a book called “9 Lies in Work” that successful companies are not those that invest into products or processes, but those that invest into teams.
A long-format blog-post which blew me away. It reminds me of a book called “9 Lies in Work” that successful companies are not those that invest into products or processes, but those that invest into teams.
Here is the two main takeaways for me: first, the authors definition of community:
“We are social animals who cannot function effectively without a social system that is larger than ourselves. This is what is meant by “community”—the social glue that binds us together for the greater good.”
“We are social animals who cannot function effectively without a social system that is larger than ourselves. This is what is meant by “community”—the social glue that binds us together for the greater good.”
What strikes me: defining community as a system for human functioning. Or rather, as a mandatory environment for optimal functioning.
And then, the idea of “communityship” - in short, to stand between individual leadership on one side and collective citizenship on the other.
“I believe that we should never use the word “leadership” without also discussing communityship. Sure, leaders can engage and involve others. But the concept remains focused on the individual—on personal initiative. Show me a leader, and I’ll show you a bunch of followers.”
“I believe that we should never use the word “leadership” without also discussing communityship. Sure, leaders can engage and involve others. But the concept remains focused on the individual—on personal initiative. Show me a leader, and I’ll show you a bunch of followers.”
Highly recommend the read, especially as it finished with a 5-step approach on how to create communitship.
And as said at the end: “An organization knows that communityship is firmly established when its members reach out in socially active, responsible, and mutually beneficial ways to the broader community.”
And as said at the end: “An organization knows that communityship is firmly established when its members reach out in socially active, responsible, and mutually beneficial ways to the broader community.”
It is the crazy story of Tony Hsieh, former CEO of Zappos, who died last week in a fire in his house.