!!!

Also, it is completely fine to not be open to new friendships and just focus on the few you have.

There's no rule that says you should always be open to friendships and always open your doors for people to be close to you.

Yes the world is so wide and big that it offers you so many people to befriend, but have you noticed how bigger the world within a few people is big?

Remember folks, the infinity between 1 & 2 is bigger than the infinity of counting integers lol

I had never appreciated people who had a small circle. It never ever made sense to me. Like "why on earth would you hangout with 3/4 people and talk to them frequently?" was my thing.

Now, looking back, I realize how lucky and beautiful these kinds of friendships are.

Infact when I hear a person say they have 1/2 close friends, I'm lost in admiration for them. It is what I currently have and working to nurture it.

If you're dating someone and is in a serious relationship then that's fine. You have eachother. But even in relationships it's nice to have atleast 1 friend of the same gender as you.

But in a singular case, then try praying for it. Cause friendships are important to mature your intellect and emotions. The bible actively tells us that it's good to have atleast 1 friend cause when one falls the other is there to pick them up.

"Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up."
— Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

The Case Against Many Friendships
(by Dagm, who had infinite friendships)

When it comes to choosing people to interact and be entwined with, the more isn't the merrier. Infact in the most simplest statistics there are more bad influences in the world than good ones. So the more people you befriend and get closer to the more you're gathering bad influences around you.

Having so many friendships, though sounds exciting, makes you extremely shallow. You will take people as easily replaceable and interchangable assets instead of actually considering them as people. You will literally spend years switching from this to that person and never forming anything deeper.

It is expensive. Maintaining friendships isn't an easy task it takes a whole lot. It takes emotional, intellectual, energy, time, monetary and even spiritual investment. Imagine spending your limited self on so many friends. Imagine how so little it will be for the people receiving it and how emptying it is on your side.

It is literally proven among millions of friendships that smaller circles are the most joyful, deeper, maturing, life long kinds of friendships than larger circles.

Finally, the bible itself asserts this fact by saying "ወዳጅ የሚያበዛ ሰው ራሱን ለጥፋት ይዳርጋል" — ምሳሌ 18:24

Have standards. You don't have to refine every single thing but it's important to get the basics right atleast.

Would you randomly pick someone you met at an event to be the cofounder of your hard worked company? HELL NAH! Even if this person is promising, you would still compare them to your requirements and standards.

Then why on earth aren't you doing that when it comes to your friendships???

Have an actual bases of a standard. Think or write to yourself: I would like a friendship that is honest, Christian, intellectual, supportive, will be there when I need them, are constantly trying to get better, are at a better state than me in some aspects....

Then compare the people who want to be your friends to this and accept or decline and throughout the ages refine it even more. Perhaps you won't make new friends but your children will, so you'll tell them about your beautiful standard so they get to benefit too.

Even Jesus had standards. His just happen to be obedience to Him and it makes complete sense. "You are my friends if you do what I command you." — John 15:14

Literally the whole bible is about having the highest of standards, God level standards. That's what being holy is about to. Being set apart and adhering to the standards of God.

Before you start the conversation, make sure it's someone you'd really like to befriend. Someone that fits your standards. Then the rest can follow.

Start with a hello and be honest with what you want and will offer to that person/friendship.

This is the simplest way. Cause some people might not be open to new friendships so you'll know early on about it.

Also to not judge you just over the surface, you might offer something important and meaningful like your loyalty and care. So they might give you a chance.

So just be honest to the person you want to befriend and lay out your intentions to them. Just be sure to not force it and move on if that person doesn't want to be friends.

If Person A, your close friend, recommends Person B to be your friend. It doesn't mean you should automatically accept that friendship and nurture it.

It is very important for you, to personally verify if this person is worth being close friends with and also measure them up against your standards.

Now before I go, let me share something deeply meaningful about friendships which is that Real friendships are not just connections, they are covenants.

A covenant is a sacred, binding agreement between two parties often sealed with promises and conditions.

Friendships are covenants of faithfulness and loyalty. So when you look at it from this perspective you will understand how beautiful it is, how small circles and high standards matter.

I'm going to use David and Jonathan in the bible as examples for this.

David and Jonathan had the most beautiful, deepest and holy friendship ever narrated and we can learn so much from them.

First off, friendships are covenants of faithfulness based on love. As you can see in this verse: "ዮናታን እንደ ራሱ አድርጎ ስለ ወደደው፣ ከዳዊት ጋር ኪዳን አደረገ"
— 1 ሳሙኤል 18:3

Second, friendships aren't just physical or conversational connections. They are bondages of soul. This is exactly why you should choose who you become friends with. As this verse states: "የዮናታን ነፍስ ከዳዊት ነፍስ ጋር ተቈራኘች፤ እንደ ራሱም አድርጎ ወደደው።" — 1 ሳሙኤል 18:1

Finally, what is the point of your friendships if they don't mature to this depth. If it doesn't mature into brotherhood what is the point? The goal is to have friends where you can confidently say this about: "ወንድሜ ዮናታን ሆይ፤ እኔ ስለ አንተ ዐዘንሁ፤ አንተ ለእኔ እጅግ ውድ ነበርህ፤ ፍቅርህ ለእኔ ድንቅ ነበረ፤ ከሴት ፍቅርም ይልቅ ግሩም ነበር።" — 2 ሳሙኤል 1:26

In David's and Jonathan's friendship, they both upheld their covenants. Jonathan was faithful until his death and after Jonathan's death, David would bring Jonathan's crippled son into his kingdom, and even sat him beside the table where he dined at. Thereby upholding his covenant even after death.

Isn't this so beautiful??!!!

Now the most important thing.

Humans are imperfect and you have to understand that people will hurt you in one way or another. Even the best friendships and relationships will affect you. You can't escape the hurt.

But there is one who will never hurt you, one who will offer you his friendship, who will always be faithful and loving to you, who has died for you, one who will always want the best for you, someone better than Jonathan, closer than your family, more entwined than your wife.

This person, is one whose friendship is sweeter than a girl's love, sacrificial than a mother's care, protective than a father's arms, deeper than any experience, closer than anything in existence and one that is everlasting.

This friendship is the one offered to you by God. That is why Jesus says "I have called you friends" in John 15:13

When you know that friendships are covenants, you'll understand why God made and kept his covenants with us. 😭

God, a true friend.

I'm glad and I hope everything God has taught me, will also help you in your friendships.

“አብርሃም በእግዚአብሔር አመነ፤ ጽድቅም ሆኖ ተቈጠረለት” የሚለው የመጽሐፍ ቃል ተፈጸመ፤ እርሱም የእግዚአብሔር ወዳጅ ተባለ።"
— ያዕቆብ 2:23

መዝሙር 133:1-3

"ወንድሞች ተስማምተው በአንድነት ሲኖሩ፣ እንዴት መልካም ነው! ምንኛስ ደስ ያሰኛል!

በራስ ላይ ፈስሶ፣ እስከ ጢም እንደሚዘልቅ፣ እስከ አሮን ጢም እንደሚወርድ፣ እስከ ልብሱም ዐንገትጌ እንደሚደርስ ውድ ሽቱ ነው።

ደግሞም በጽዮን ተራራ ላይ እንደሚወርድ፣ እንደ አርሞንዔም ጠል ነው፤ በዚያ እግዚአብሔር በረከቱን፣ ሕይወትንም እስከ ዘላለም አዝዟልና።"

What's up Indomies :)

lol, did you just blushh?!

Adorbs <3