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@Dagmawi_Babi

The very bad kind of person to be close to is the nonchalant kind. The chill guy who is just there if you're going through ups and downs.

These are the you-do-you and I-do-me kind. Never be close, always set your boundaries far against them. They're not real friends, they're just there for the fun of it.

You need active friends in your life. What is the point if your friend found something good in their life and doesn't try to share that with you?

Your friend should be annoyed and disturbed when you do or think of something bad. Should be affected by you. If they're not then you don't have that place in their hearts.

There's a day and time where you will be so proud of yourself for the people you've unfriended or cut connections with and it is such a beautiful moment.

I personally love it, and my day is made joyful on the good decisions I took. So don't be afraid :)

I don't think I've said this in any of my interviews but back in 4th year I lost so many friends. SO MANY you have absolutely no idea and it's easier to say it than what I went through.

During this journey I couldn't decide what to do with certain friendships. They're not particularly bad or particularly too close but these people were kind of unavoidably there.

So I did one of the most powerful and instantly answerable prayers which is "Dear God, remove everyone in my life that is not from you." Then one by one things start coming out, major reasons to distance myself started popping up. This made deciding so easy.

And in that moment where I was essentially alone, I prayed another prayer for God to send people of His own to be my friends. People I would care for and have the Christian brotherhood God always wanted His kids to have.

Then some new people came into my life, and still are very close friends and others I've already known our bond spontaneously started to deepen. The most common thing in my friendships is that we all want to be better Christians and we counsel, bible study and pray for eachother.

We are very concerned about eachother. I would straight up lashout on one of my close friends if I see something that's beneath their standards and more.

We are also very supportive of eachother, we go the extramile to support and encourage eachother. And it might not seem much but your close friend's encouragements are worth a thousand fan's comments.

That's it.

Also, it is completely fine to not be open to new friendships and just focus on the few you have.

There's no rule that says you should always be open to friendships and always open your doors for people to be close to you.

Yes the world is so wide and big that it offers you so many people to befriend, but have you noticed how bigger the world within a few people is big?

Remember folks, the infinity between 1 & 2 is bigger than the infinity of counting integers lol

The Case Against Many Friendships
(by Dagm, who had infinite friendships)

When it comes to choosing people to interact and be entwined with, the more isn't the merrier. Infact in the most simplest statistics there are more bad influences in the world than good ones. So the more people you befriend and get closer to the more you're gathering bad influences around you.

Having so many friendships, though sounds exciting, makes you extremely shallow. You will take people as easily replaceable and interchangable assets instead of actually considering them as people. You will literally spend years switching from this to that person and never forming anything deeper.

It is expensive. Maintaining friendships isn't an easy task it takes a whole lot. It takes emotional, intellectual, energy, time, monetary and even spiritual investment. Imagine spending your limited self on so many friends. Imagine how so little it will be for the people receiving it and how emptying it is on your side.

It is literally proven among millions of friendships that smaller circles are the most joyful, deeper, maturing, life long kinds of friendships than larger circles.

Finally, the bible itself asserts this fact by saying "ወዳጅ የሚያበዛ ሰው ራሱን ለጥፋት ይዳርጋል" — ምሳሌ 18:24

Have standards. You don't have to refine every single thing but it's important to get the basics right atleast.

Would you randomly pick someone you met at an event to be the cofounder of your hard worked company? HELL NAH! Even if this person is promising, you would still compare them to your requirements and standards.

Then why on earth aren't you doing that when it comes to your friendships???

Have an actual bases of a standard. Think or write to yourself: I would like a friendship that is honest, Christian, intellectual, supportive, will be there when I need them, are constantly trying to get better, are at a better state than me in some aspects....

Then compare the people who want to be your friends to this and accept or decline and throughout the ages refine it even more. Perhaps you won't make new friends but your children will, so you'll tell them about your beautiful standard so they get to benefit too.

Even Jesus had standards. His just happen to be obedience to Him and it makes complete sense. "You are my friends if you do what I command you." — John 15:14

If Person A, your close friend, recommends Person B to be your friend. It doesn't mean you should automatically accept that friendship and nurture it.

It is very important for you, to personally verify if this person is worth being close friends with and also measure them up against your standards.

Now before I go, let me share something deeply meaningful about friendships which is that Real friendships are not just connections, they are covenants.

A covenant is a sacred, binding agreement between two parties often sealed with promises and conditions.

Friendships are covenants of faithfulness and loyalty. So when you look at it from this perspective you will understand how beautiful it is, how small circles and high standards matter.